Leave the gun. Take the cannoli.

23 March 2006

It's Spring Time - Do You Know What That Means?

If you answered "Baseball", while you would be right, for the context of this blog you would actually be wrong. This is about that springtime tradition…the NFL Draft.

Since the Superbowl ended, we have all been inundated with talk of combines, tryouts, draft prospects, trades and of course the NFL Draft itself. Don't get me wrong. I enjoy the NFL. I may not enjoy it nearly as much as I like baseball and I know that in America the NFL is King, but give me a break. Does the sports world need to revolve around the upcoming NFL Draft?

Instead of being able to see more games in the recently completed World Baseball Classic, we were subjected to Mel Kipper's ass ranting and raving about the possibilities of the NFL Draft. I still understand the interest for the NFL Fan. I follow the Hot Stove in baseball with great intent, but I have yet to see Pete Gammons talking about the baseball draft or trade rumors the way Mel Kipper talks about the NFL Draft. You would think he was talking about the love of his life and not a game. Hey yo Mel. Why don't you unplug for a bit. Step outside, breath in some fresh air and go look at some women. Drop by a titty club. Head to the beach. Pay some attention to your own ole lady. Get your dick wet something. Its pretty clear that you would take reviewing who the Jets might take with the number 2 pick in the draft rather than engage in actual sexual intercourse. That should be a crime in itself.

You know, maybe its just me, but I just don't get the broad appeal of the NFL Draft. I wont' lie, I will check out the first few picks, but that’s about it. After the first three or four selections I'm good. I'll just catch the updates on Sportscenter. I'm amazed by the losers who break out their team gear, paint up their faces, throw down a few (or a dozen) pops before heading to Madison Square Garden to "watch" the excitement of the draft. Sure I want to know who my team picks, but whether or not I have my grill painted and I am sitting in the stands has no effect on who the Buffalo Bills will take. Matter of fact, the draft is actually about as exciting as watching a 0-0 tie in a Soccer Game. Well a Soccer game that has no violence, murder, torches, riots, fire, destruction etc. but I digress. Watching people in the stands start cheering when their team…with the 82nd selection in the 2006 NFL Draft pick some no name scrub just screams "LOSERS"! Same with the people who clear their weekend so they can sit on their ass plastered in front of the T.V. to watch all two hundred rounds of the NFL Draft. It might be time to mix in a hobby or two at that point.

I can understand being wrapped up in the games on a Sunday. I mean there are actual games going on. Contests being played on the field, but this draft shit is for the birds. My life isn't full of substance, but I'm pretty sure I have about a zillion things better to do that watch the NFL Draft. I'm sure there is a liquor store I could rob. Perhaps an elderly couple I could mug. Maybe I could even get loose on a Triple AAA Baseball Mascot. All of those choices would be better and more productive that intently watching to see where Vince "Smart as a bag of doorknobs" Young goes to.

Once Opening Day hits though, it flushes all of the NFL bullshit out of my system, out of my T.V., out of my focus. And thank god too. It will be hard, but I can hold out a few more weeks until Baseball opens up full swing. In the meantime I can fight the plague like disease that is the NFL Draft with Spring Training Games. Its better than nothing!!!!


  • At 7:14 PM, Blogger S.S. said…

    I'm all for watching the entire draft.
    Though this is the first time I would be. I'm enough of a sports nut to enjoy stuff like this though.

  • At 9:54 AM, Blogger 'Don' Cialini said…

    I'm sorry S. Shah. Perhaps you should mix in a girlfriend (or boyfriend depending) and get interact or find a hobby or rob a train or something. Being a sports nut is cool...right up until you start "enjoying" the NFL Draft.

  • At 8:50 PM, Blogger Bill said…

    Dude, you are such a dick.

    I would rather sit in my house for two consecutive days and watch all 7 rounds of the draft than some spring training game where the announcers themselves can barely stay awake. The reason the baseball draft doesn't get any coverage is because it's meaningless. Even if you draft a guy, chances are he's gonna go through the farm system and won't even play for 3 years.

    Yeah, anything after the first round is for draftniks only, but you don't see the appeal of watching your team amass talent for the coming year?

    Oh and by the way, Mel Kiper is awesome and his hair is awesome and you are not awesome.

  • At 11:26 AM, Blogger 'Don' Cialini said…

    You're right bro. Watching to see Joey Harrington tank or Akili Smith, or Ron Dane is the highlight of my weekend. Mel sucks, his hair sucks, and if you had them your eyebrows would suck too. Ya lost.

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