Leave the gun. Take the cannoli.

01 November 2006

I Want My Sinus Medicine

I'm pissed. I know that’s not the most shocking thing one has ever heard out of my piehole, but today it’s a little worse than usual. Check that, it’s a lot worse than usual.

For the last few months, I have been meaning to pick up some sinus medicine. Whenever I seemingly would stop at Wegmans on my way into work, I would be unable to pick some up because the pharmacy was closed and that’s where you had to get the stuff now. The shit is now behind the counter because Asscans who run Meth Labs are using the stuff for the pseudooepherine to make their smack. Hey, whatever. I'm all for trying to clean up what has turned into a huge problem in this country. However, when it becomes easier for me to smuggle Uranium than it is for me to buy a box of Cold and Sinus ibuprofen, we have a problem.

During my lunch hour today, I rolled over to the Wegmans right near work. I wanted to pick up a couple Bialy's for lunch and since my Sinus' were kicking like Bruce Lee, I thought hey, I'll actually be able to get a box of sinus medicine. I strolled over to the cold section of the store and grabbed some sort of ticket thing that I needed to take to the pharmacy. I stepped up with a grin on my grill ready to get my Sinus relief…when it starts.

The skank ERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR young lady behind the counted takes my ticket then asks for my drivers license as she gets out this big ass book. I've seen this book before. Its usually where you sign when you pick up a legitimate prescription. However, this must now be the new pseudoepherine buyers book. After she takes down my drivers license number and some other information, she gives me the book where I need to print my full name, give my address and then sign it. First off, if the Don signs anything, the Don gets P-A-I-D like Pete Rose. Not to mention the fact I don't want any yutz knowing my address. As I comment with "Jesus" at having to go through all this, the skank ERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR young lady pipes in with "its not our policy. If it wasn't for all the meth labs we wouldn't have to do this." Slow down honey, I wasn't giving you or Wegmans shit. I was just bitching in general at how hard it is for me to now by some goddamn Sinus medicine. All this because some Meth Addicts want to fuck themselves up with this shit.

Look. I don't do it. I don't operate or supply a lab. Matter of fact I look down on and shun users of Meth with glee. I mean seriously. What happens when I go home, and my wife wants to take my controlled box of Sinus juice to work she can have some on hand? I mean now I need a new box right? I go strolling back to Wegmans and try to buy another 40 count box, what if they told me no, I have to wait 30 days? Whats going to happen is I'm going to go on a killing spree right there in Wegmans starting with that fucking skank ERRRRRRRRRRRRRR fuck it, skank who initially broke my balls to begin with! What if they give me the box, what, is the DEA going to start surveillance on me? I better remember to close the blinds before I start jacking off next time.

Look, there has got to be a better solution to this problem. Sure parents being more responsible for their kids would help. Sure, cops actually looking for real criminals instead of trying to catch me doing 34mph in a 30mph speed trap zone would be beneficial. Sure, all the dumb mother fuckers out there actually doing this shit getting some education and help on their problem would be beneficial, but lets face it. Common sense shit just isn't going to prevail.

See, I have a solution and its called Whip a Mother Fuckers Ass (WMFA). If I catch my kid using speed, I'ma whip that mother fuckers ass. If I see a friend using speed, I'ma whip that mother fuckers ass. If I see some addict that is part of the problem and is part of the reason its damn near impossible for me to get sinus medicine, I'ma whip that mother fuckers ass. Tell me that wouldn't help. Lets give the cops the authority now. Fuck arresting perps. Fuck trying to get these losers into rehab. Fuck trying to stem the flow of Meth. Instead, whip a mother fuckers ass. I have to believe that if some user gets his ass beat enough times by the cops, by me, by others that believe in my solution…at some point they are going to get sick of getting their ass beat and clean themselves up. Its time we stop coddling these drug users and sellers. As country we have become soft and the ones who pay most are the hard working law abiding citizens like your Don.

All I wanted was some damn sinus medicine and look. Look what happened. Its fucking ridiculous. Stop making things harder on the good people of this country law makers. Instead of going for a "quick" mildly effective solution, spend a bit more time and come up with something that greatly effects the users, the sellers, the assholes that deal with Meth, and doesn't effect in a negative way the good people of this country.

Man, don't let me ever become president. If I do, straight up, I'll whip a mother fuckers ass without even thinking.



  • At 1:32 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Give me a shout and I will provide an ample supply of Sinol Nasal Spray. It is the best sinus nasal spray out there.
    800-632-2824 ask for Paul


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