Leave the gun. Take the cannoli.

15 February 2007

NFL Intervention

Here in Crapchester, while we are digging out from the 24 inches of snow we received over the last day and a half, there is hope. Pitchers and catchers have started reporting to Spring Training and by the end of next week the camps should be full (well except for the White Sox - not sure Juan Uribe is going to be able to make it). That's right, now that we are through the most over hyped sporting event next to the World Cup (The Superbowl - can I say that NFL, or do I need to refer to it as the "Big Game"?) and the absolute worst excuse for an All-Star Game (Pro Bowl) are over, we can focus on what really is important. Spring Training and Opening Day.

Of course, there are you degenerates that just can't let go. You know who you are. The ones still watching the NFL Network. The ones tuning into NFL Live or whatever it is on ESPN now that it is a yearly show. And worst of all, are the guys who are having wet dreams to the mere thought of the impending NFL Draft. That's right, this is my now yearly electronic intervention for all you Football Honks who have it so bad that you are drooling at the prospect that your team might get to draft from so and so from whatever University.

Let's face it. The draft sucks. Not one other professional sports draft generates even a percent of what the NFL's does. There is a reason why...the draft is boring. I understand Football is King in this country. I'm good with that. If I don't have to deal with Raider Fan at a baseball game, then my day is looking better and brighter. However, while baseball is getting started and the NBA and NHL are getting ready to make their playoff runs, stop wasting my time with all this crap about the draft!

I shouldn't have to turn on Sports Center only to be bombarded with who the Raiders are going to pick first and subsequently sink that player's career. I shouldn't have to listen to Mike and Mike or John DiTullio and year 80% Football content with Mel Kipers latest draft predictions. Look, Mel Kiper needs a life. There is more to the sporting world than the NFL. We do not need 3 months of coverage on the potential draft picks and then an all out party on draft day.

Clicking on ESPN around noon on the day of the draft is alright. You watch a couple picks then go on to be more productive. You know, yard work, get your oil changed, bang the wife etc. However, if you live for the draft. If you plan your weekend around the draft. If you park your fat ass on the couch for the better part of the Saturday (and let it spill into Sunday) you are a complete loser. I don't mean to be so forward, but its true. If you are going to watch T.V. where there is 30 seconds of interest followed by 15 minutes of waiting you are a complete loser. I know I watch some bullshit on TV. Some of which probably makes me a loser, however not to the degree that the NFL Draft makes most people.

Look, NFL Honk. Do yourself a favor this impending draft day. Watch the first couple of picks then turn on a baseball game. You will end up much more satisfied.