Leave the gun. Take the cannoli.

21 March 2007

Hot Chick in the Work Place

The battle for equality between men and women has been going on for as long as the world has been turning. Over the last 40 or 50 years as women have ventured out of their traditional roles in the home and crossed over into the working world, they have faced all types of sexual discrimination. One of the biggest things we hear about is equal pay for equal jobs. Hey, I agree. Lost in all this feminazism though is that one really hot chick who works in ones area at their job. And Fellas, you know the one I'm talking about. That chick you hope to get a glimpse of on a regular basis. The one who smells good from 300 feet away. The one who you and your fellow co-workers all talk about what you would do to her...if you weren't married in some sort of primitive male braggadocio bonding ritual. The thing that gets overlooked is just how easy her job is, especially if the situation is right. A hot chick in an office full of other chicks with varying degrees of hotness won't see too many benefits, but a hot chick who works around a lot of guys and or around a lot of undesirable women has her ticket straight punched.

To prove my statement, I will use an example from right where I work. To set it up, I work for a Communications Company right here in Cold Crapchester New York. The company occupies a number of buildings and I work in a long building that is mostly made up of manufacturing elements. The area I work in is a "secured" area with limited access at the west end of the building. We have a contingent of Engineers who we work with, but like I said, most of the building in Manufacturing. As one can predict, manufacturing (ie line work) and engineering are female starved areas...at least hot females. There are plenty of line hogs on the assembly line...however you don't have to be Mr. Wizard to figure out how they earned their nickname. Along one side of the building, is an area walled off from the factory part that houses offices...or a cube farm if you will. Somewhere close to the middle of this cube farm is what is regarded as a hot chick. Now personally I don't feel that way, but the general consensus is that she is a hot piece of ass. I think she looks alright, but she is about as thin as a crack whore with no curves...to each their own I guess, but I digress. While she doesn't work for the engineering department I am in (she works with the manufacturing side), the chance to see her exists just the same.

Being a hot chick, they set her desk area and cube up right in front of one of the entrances to the office area. She doesn't have a complete cube and only a computer monitor prevents anyone who looks from getting a full picture. I find this ironic, because the behemoth she took over from was always kept hidden behind double thick cube walls. Yeah, like the people in charge of this setup weren't thinking ahead. So, right in the middle of the office area in front of a main entrance to the area we have "hot chick". For the sake of keep real peoples names out of it, "hot chicks" name will become "Jen". Shit, I feel like I'm writing a letter to Penthouse Forums.

So, Jen's lot in life, at least her work life has got to be as golden as anything. She is a hot chick working in an area filled with dudes, most old and married, no competition from the women around and even the young engineers would might be game usually have significant others...depending on their persuasion. I don't know how much she makes, but I am willing to bet for what she has to do or the crap she has to put up with, its too much. No slow down feminazist. I'm not saying she shouldn't make whatever she is, but she gets the hot chick discount when it comes to work load and crap she has to deal with. I have seen even the most hardened, miserable, 30 year pissed off at the world employees in her cube with questions of getting help acting just as sweet and charming as can be. If I were to talk to one of these guys 5 minutes later they would tell me to go fuck myself with my own head and hope I would suffocate while doing it. Cocksuckers. I've seen Managers/Boss' act like a mistake or money costing error was just a simple mix-up. If that was me, I'd be standing tall before the man. Anytime she walks anywhere, I see a bigger entourage following her than M.C. Hammer ever thought about having. God knows she will never have to carry anything over 2 pounds, because even old-timer with the thrashed back will be lining up to carry that 30 pound box of copy paper for her. During Christmas, she was in charge of decorating the areas with Christmas decorations and setting up the Happy Christmas Tree. Nothing like watching her up on a ladder and about 15 dudes below all looking up with glazed over eyes. Even better was all the dudes "helping" to hang decorations, hoping if they hung a few Christmas balls on her tree, they could hang their balls across her nose. Not a chance Fellas. The mass of people always surrounding her. The dirty old perv trying to get a chance to feel young again. The married guy who is miserable and thinks if he could stick his underused pecker in this chick all his problems would go away. The boss' who think their position makes her want to try positions with them. The single, dirty, scraggly nasty dudes who think she would really get into playing Dungeons and Dragons with them. Sorry Fellas, none of you have a chance, but she will exploit the fact she can lead you all around by your Johnson's so her work day can be that much easier.

You know, I can take this example to the extreme as well. Here in the Northeast, anyone who has tried to cross a busy street understands its like playing a game of Frogger. If you make it across alive, you have won! It's not like being in say Los Angeles where if you walk out in front of a car, it will actually stop. Try that here in NY and the fucker behind the wheel will accelerate like he is trying to win the Daytona 500 in the final stretch. Oh, and I know, because I have experienced both. Anyway, my company has had to have crosswalks painted and marked on the road our building is on, because we have a large parking lot across the street. Even with a couple crosswalks, drivers don't pay attention. We even had an employee become a hood ornament last year. Well one day about a month and a half ago, I was coming back from lunch, getting ready to play Frogger, hoping I would see the other side and get to enjoy my Di'Bella's sub when "Jen" comes walking out of the building, surprisingly enough with another chick...a non-competing chick of course. She walks up to the crosswalk and looks and here comes a Big Fucking Ass 18-Wheeler. Now you know who drives these rigs. They are the dirt covered, raggedy John Deer screen hat wearing, unshaven, unshowered, toothpick chomping, CB talking, flannel shirt with the arms cut off sporting, thinking they are the sexual jackhammer they aren't guy. This fool comes roaring down the road and damn near locks'em up so "Jen" can safely navigate the street crossing. I see my opening and make my move to get up to the crosswalk and cross in the opposite direction that "Jen" just did. As soon as I approach the crosswalk, truck driver guy starts grinding the gears and starts to roll so he doesn't have to wait for my ass. Perfect. Not like this greaseball couldn't have waited about 3 more seconds for me to get across the street. It's amazing when a set of tits and the ability to bleed for 7 days and not die can bye you.

I can honestly say that I don't give hot chick the time of day. Look, I hate doing my own work, so I'm not going to do some skanks work for her so I can get absolutely nothing in return. I'm definitely not following around hot chick like a lost puppy dog so assholes like myself can crack on me. So Fellas, watch out for hot chick in the work places trap! And Feminazis...maybe if you bitches were hot...you wouldn't be so angry.

19 March 2007

The Racial Divide - Divided As Ever

Nothing like a good race issue to get me interested in my blog again. Last week, while listening to sports talk radio or watching ESPN's Sportscenter I heard a story that my favorite wannabe gangster on the ball field can't wear his hat like a million dollar professional C.C. Sabathia of the Cleveland Steamers (see below) says their needs to be more blacks in baseball and that baseball needs to do more to recruit young black players. Really. Look, before you my faithful reader (and I do mean that singularly) go ahead and label me the David Duke of the blog world, hear me out here.

MLB has lots of programs in effect to bring the game of baseball to inner city youths. However they face several obstacles that the "crusaders" seem to want to ignore. In the city, basketball is king. Football is right behind it, but baseball just doesn't have a solid foothold. Anytime I fly over the inner city I really don't see too many baseball diamonds. I mean I understand they take a lot of space in space crunched areas (and don't talk about football fields, because you have high school football. high school baseball cannot even come close to competing there), where a group of basketball courts fit in nicely. However, MLB has its program - Reviving Baseball in Inner Cities (RBI) and each individual team also run their own programs as well. Short of forcing kids to play baseball, what exactly can be done? Its kind of like forcing teams to have a token black candidate interview for an NFL head coaching job. According to Captain Cheeseburger, if he was a kid watching MLB today, he wouldn't play because he doesn't see enough black players.

"They don't see us playing," Sabathia said. "When I grew up, I was a pitcher and I liked the Oakland A's. I liked Dave Stewart. I was a big left-handed hitter, so I liked Dave Parker. You had Barry Bonds playing in San Francisco, guys like that. There were a lot of guys to look up to."

If he was a kid today, would Sabathia be playing baseball?

"No way," he said. "That's the truth."

I can understand that to a point. However, when look at the common sense side of things, if you have the talent to be a big leaguer, why not take it? Lets look at the facts. The money is phenomenal. Its not near as good as the NBA, but its a lot better than the NFL. Contracts are guaranteed, unlike the NFL. The Players Union is the biggest Mafia Family on the planet meaning you can probably commit a double homicide and get off quicker than Ray Lewis. Career longevity is probably the greatest advantage. Usually longer than the NBA and way better than the NFL. In the NFL when a player is hitting the downside of his career, he is entering his baseball prime...and his body is still in one piece. Longer career with greater money equals greater riches. If kids don't see that or don't want to go that route (if they have the talent), hey its a free country.

I know Captain Cholesterol runs his own youth league baseball programs, but maybe he should put more effort in recruiting his fellow black multi-millionaires to give back as well. Maybe if the black youth see these "few" players active in their communities and promoting baseball, they would be more encouraged to participate? I mean I don't hear Justin Morneau crying about their not being enough Canadians in MLB. I don't hear Andruw Jones crying there are not enough Dutch players in MLB. I don't hear Glenn Williams bitching about their not being enough Aussies in MLB.

I could take this even farther. Since I have been referencing the NBA, where are the white players in that league? They are as few and far between as blacks are apparently in baseball. I don't hear Steve Nash, or Dirk Nowitski or that other good white guy throwing up fits that the NBA needs to recruit more white players and open basketball centers in the rural areas. Why not? Because that would be considered racist. I'm just not down with the racial double standard. Everybody should have the right and the chance to play whatever they want, work where ever they want to work etc. I know its not a perfect world, but the double standard doesn't help anything.

So C.C. Next time you feels like opening that sewer of yours, maybe you should try and throw a speed bump in-between your brain and your hole. If your tilted hat to the side might as well be wearing a fedora and carrying a glock instead of a glove ass wants things to change, then be part of the solution more than you already are, instead of just complaining about something. Offer actual solutions, not just lip service. Also, take a look around baseball, and other sports before you whine about the majority of who is playing what.