Leave the gun. Take the cannoli.

25 September 2006

I Admit it - I'm a Heartless Prick!

It's no secret that I'm not the most politically correct guy around. Its also no secret that my human compassion is selective at best. With that said, let me say that I am sick and mother fucking tired hearing about Hurricane Katrina, New Orleans, and anything else involved. Yes, it was a terrible tragedy. Yes, it could have been avoided in part. Yes, you can blame the feds, you can blame the state and local government's (as I do) it doesn't matter. Fact is, its been over a fucking year already. I get the fact that it was America's worst Natural Disaster ever. I get that it devastated not only an entire city but a region as well and my heart goes out to all those affected. Your Don even contributed money to one of the charitable foundations, and I even coughed up to a foundation to help the animals effected (see, I'm not heartless - Oh, and if someone left their pets behind, they should be shot dead on sight. Leaving an animal behind is reprehensible), but its time to move on. Nobody was forced to populate a city that sits 42 feet below sea level and sits on the ocean with a big ass lake on the other side. The Levee's were not going to upgrade themselves, human perseverance should have got this done…especially since talk of the "Big Storm" to hit New Orleans has been ongoing since we were all in short pants. Nobody was forced to abandon well over 200 school buses that could have been used to haul people out of harms way. And what has brought this rant on is this. Tonight, the Saints and NFL Football return to NOLA - To a revamped Superdome. Mike and Mike on the Radio are going on and on and on about football's return. What it means to the people. What it means to the city. What it means is that a shitty NFL dome stadium was upgraded because half of it fell down in the Hurricane. It means the residents will start getting fleeced again over the ridiculous cost of an NFL game. Its not like the NFL is returning a few weeks or a month after. Its been over a year. I've heard about all I need to hear about the NOLA tragedy. I don't care of the NFL is returning, if the skanks are heading back to the French Quarter, the Marcello Family is returning to reclaim their underworld reigns, or if the Mets get stuck with their shitty Triple AAA team for an affiliate. It comes down to this. Katrina was a great tragedy. Millions of people have lost and suffered. Reconstruction is well underway. No matter what, a lot of people will get shafted by the government or insurance companies or someone else. NOLA will never be the same. Now shut the fuck up about it and press on.

14 September 2006

Farewell Refreshing AM Radio in Rochester

For my regular readers…if I have any, a few posts back I blogged about "Refreshing AM Radio in Rochester". And yes, since Brad Davies left for browner pastures in Houston the 9am to 12pm local sports show time slot has been filled for the most part with excellent fill in hosts. Among these are Davies show producer Dan Berello, Carl Faulk, and another guy who works the Sunday Morning Bullpen on Sundays with Berello but I forget his name. For the purposes of continuity he will be "That Guy". There were other hosts as well. Some guy from Syracuse filled in a few times. Some old guy they called "coach" filled in. I think this guy was the "coach" when the 4 Horsemen were still riding, but thankfully he wasn't around but a couple days.

I listened to each main fill in host and they all did a really good job. I saw it as auditions because they went all out trying to secure guests, have good discussions, show they could excel as a host. Faulk, Berello, and That Guy all did well and I would have been fine with either of them landing the gig.

Dan Berello: Also known as Dan Digler (and no, I never heard why and if its because he has a huge crank…I'm better off not knowing) may have done the best job in my opinion. Fresh sports talk. The regular callers all are familiar with him. The show ran smooth as was actually entertaining. Unlike when that asscan Brad Davies was in. I don't have a clue as to what sports teams Dan prefers and that’s a good thing. After Davies constant schilling for the Giants, Rangers, Knicks, and Braves (wtf?), its nice to hear middle of the road sports talk. As a bonus, Dan is up to speed on Mulberry St. and some Mafia knowledge. Dan would get a vote from the Don.

Carl Faulk: When Davies was around, I loved with Carl guest hosted. Carl is a Mets Fan and we all know it. It was nice to get some Mets talk that didn't include how their pitching staff was broken or how David Wright "sucks". Despite clearing having a favorite team that we all knew about, Carl was very fair about the material he talked about. The show was not dominated by Mets talk or how the Mets are the greatest thing since sliced bread. Even with Mets commentary he kept the show moving. Something Braves "Fan" Davies could never do. He had a good energy and made the show fun. A complete 180 from when that Utica reject Davies was on the air.

That Guy - Its killing me that I cannot recall his name. This guy was another voice of reason in the Brad Davies era. A diehard Yankee Fan, he always stepped up to Davies when he would start bashing the Mets especially David Wright. Hey, its still NY Baseball. I like that. Like the other 3, he had a good energy and made the show fun. I would not have shed any tears if the Yankee Fan who owns a David Wright Jersey got the job.

If you're still reading and you know me, you're probably using your astute judgment to assume that none of the above landed the job. And you would be right. A week and a half ago or so I heard a commercial on WHTK with John DiTullio. What in the blue fuck is this? I know he is a "sports guy" around town and did the sports on 96.5's Brother Wease Show (and don't even get me started on that) but to get his own show? I never heard him once carry 3 hours. At this point, the only think I know about Johnny-D is that because he French's Wease's balls is probably the only reason he got the job. Listening to this guy talk is painful. He sounds like a Wease wannabe with that raspy voice but worse. Have you ever bumped into that 83 year old woman who is a 57 year veteran of smoking? You know that voice right? That’s DiTullio. Its like O.J. Simpson carved up his throat then some back woods doctor used constantina wire to stitch him back together. Its just brutal. Plus he is a Yankee Fan. What Western NY Dago isn't right? Well, except for me anyway.

I tried to keep positive about this though. By last weekend I had forgotten all about this. Monday morning though, reality came crushing in on me like one of the Fat Boys rolling off a couch. I had my radio on at work as I always do listening to Mike and Mike. At 9am the station drops the Mike and Mike feed to start their own local show. I wasn't paying attention to the time when my radio went to shit. All I heard was brutal static. AM radio isn't exactly FM Stereo quality sound to begin with, so this wasn't new to me. Plus working in a RF Communications Company I catch interference all the time over the AM bands. It was different this time though. I moved my radio around. I repositioned the antenna. I moved away anything that might cause interference. I drop kicked my radio and gave it a flying plancha for good measure and nothing. Just a sound of static and scratching in an epic battle for superiority. My ears were going nuts. Nothing was making it go away…fuck - Its John Ditullio. The Brother Wease Graveytrain rider has arrived.

Once I pulled out the exacto knives that I slammed into my ears and took a couple valium's I calmed down and tried to listen to the show. It fucking sucks. The only thing good is he keeps a leash on the callers. This is important when that walking Italian stereotype from E.R. Dom calls. Somebody sanction a hit on that guy already. Seriously Dom. Calling the Buffalo Bills "Flubbalo" is NOT clever. Its actually pretty lame. Take your weak smack to your Cleveland Browns circle jerk and leave it there, but I digress. In a stunning display of creativeness, Johnny-Boy has come up with his "Douche Bag of the Week". Brilliant. Way to jack Mike and Mike's "Just Shut-up" award and turn it into complete crap. You know who should win the Douche Bag of the year award? John DiTullio of course. I mean hell, it sounds like he has a couple dried up (used of course) douche bags lodged in his throat.

After the Brad Davies era, how can they user in a new era with this guy? In John's promo's for the show, he says "I've been living in Rochester for NINE years now, and I have always wanted my own show". Really? I've living in Rochester for 23 of my 30 years and I'd love to have my own show yet the monkey isn't dropping me a line! Maybe I could stat my "Dillweed of the week" award to have that catchy gimmick the public will just sink their teeth into. Perhaps I could give Wease oral a couple times a day and form my own "throat condition" to sound like I had a tracheotomy performed by Michael J. Fox. The easiest thing to do would be to just wait it out. Too bad the regular callers are all kissing his ass to get more air time and I just don't see another city beating a path to Johnny's door trying to steal him away anytime soon.

Things come and go and apparently it just wasn't refreshing am radio's time here in Crapchester. In the meantime I will be trying to figure out how to get reception for my Sirius radio here at work. I'm 150 plus feet from the nearest window. Hopefully I will be bestowed with a flash of brilliance and come up with an easy solution. God help me if I have to resort to FM radio for 3 hours a day again. Thanks for nothing 1280 WHTK.

War permanent laryngitis for John Ditullio.

13 September 2006

Swing Pitcha Pitcha Pitcha Swing!

For as long as I have watched the great game of baseball, one thing has always bothered me. Why in the blue hell can't pitchers hit? Look, I'm not saying that pitchers need to be Ted Williams or Ryan Howard at the plate but unless its Dontrell Willis or Mike Hampton at the plate the pitcher/batter looks like one of Jerry's Kid's trying to hit a 95mph heater.

As the World Series swiftly approaches, it always touched off the argument involving the Designated Hitter. As a baseball purist I drop the DH rule just ahead of sipping on a colostomy bag milk shake. If you don't own a glove you shouldn't be at the plate swinging away. I know there are those that like it, but they don't know their ass from a hole in the ground much less baseball. Having the pitchers hit adds a whole other level of strategy to the game. It makes it more interesting, more entertaining. The thing is though, why do pitchers look ridiculous at the plate?

When I played Little League Baseball, the pitchers were usually some of the best hitters (and fielders) on the team. In High School Baseball the pitchers were usually again some of the best hitters on the team. When I watch the Little League World Series the pitchers tear it up with the bat in their hands. So what happens between High School and say the Majors/Minors. I know the Minors have the DH rule (what the hell for), shouldn't pitchers have to learn how to bunt and shit? I'm not too failure with the college game (PIIIIINNNNGGGGG), but I think they have a DH too.

I get the fact that pitchers need to concentrate on pitching and that’s where their focus is. However these guys pitch once every 5 days. You mean to tell me that cannot pick up a stick a couple times over that span and get a little BP in? That they cannot make that a regular thing? If you throw in the A.L. I can see not wasting your time, but in the N.L. being proficient with the stick will only help yourself (as the pitcher) in the game. Maybe I just don't get it. I know that if I was managing an N.L. team I'd be lining my pitchers at least the starters up for daily BP. If Dontrell Willis can bat 7th in the Marlins lineup, then other pitchers around the league can step it up too.


05 September 2006

Your Don - A Nuclear Terrorist???

This past weekend, I had a run in with the coppers. Not for something like racketeering, extortion, gambling or anything like that. Nope. Apparently I was posing a threat to the Ginna Nuclear Power Facility here in Rochester New York.

The Saturday started out innocent enough. The remnants of Tropical Storm Ernesto were engulfing the Western NY area leaving us with a steady rain and gray, gloomy overcast sky's. Days like this are good for 2 things. Staying in bed or lounging on the couch all day or talking a drive. Yup. For some strange reason, when it sucks outside, the wife and I like to jump in the ole Cadillac errrrr Pontiac and cruise. This past Saturday's adventure set heading East out of Fairport and eventually North. For some strange reason we wanted to head towards Lake Ontario.

The drive was uneventful. I mean how many meth labs can one drive by being manned by some crack thin dude in a wife beater in 315 land before you just can't take it any more? As we neared the lake, I decided that maybe I would try and find the Nuclear Power Plant. Brenna had never seen it. And lets face it, growing up in Alaska and Missouri, seeing the feat that is modern Nuclear Technology is quite the treat.

Do to my astute navigational skills, when the road we were on came to a "T", dead ahead was Ginna . As traffic was nil at the time, we sat there for a second looking at it as I pointed some things out. Then we notice the gate right ahead of us manned by some jerk-off reservist in his mismatched Kevlar gear. I said "we should probably go before he gets my plate number and calls it in." How prophetic am I? We break left and drive a touch still checking out the facility and still looking for a road to get us near the lake. We happen upon a driveway that appears to be some type of construction entrance. Maybe for a construction company or whatever. We figure we might be able to get near the lake as well as a better view of the plant. After driving a few hundred feet its pretty evident it doesn't lead anywhere but to the plant and off to the side is a HMWVEE with another reservist in there dicking off. At that point we turn around and high tail it out of there, noticing all the security cameras on the light poles. Ah well I figured. No harm done. As we turn onto the main road here comes a State Trooper in his Blazer or Suburban flying down the other side of the road angrily pointing for me to pull over. Perfect. I should have been home…in bed.

Officer Friendly roles up on the car and asks if I know why he pulled me over. Fighting the overwhelming urge to retort with some smart ass remark, I simply say "no officer I don't". He proceeds to tell me that I was trespassing on Military Land. Since 9/11 all Nuclear Facilities have been taken over by the military. Hey, sounds good to me, but how in the blue fuck am I supposed to know Nuclear Power Plants now reside on "military land"? There are no "no trespassing" signs anywhere and being former military any military land I have even seen has been marked as such…so one would know. He asks for my ID. He asks for Brenna's and of course she doesn't have it on her. I was waiting for the cop to explode, but he just took my ID and went back to his vehicle.

After a few minutes, Friendly is on his way back to the car. Looking in my mirror it looks like he has his ticket book with him. Now I'm about to go into my own Thermal Nuclear Meltdown if I get a friggin' ticket, however its just a note bad. He confirms my name, telephone number, address whatever and Bren's as well. Again with the trespassing lecture however he was fairly cool about it saying they have been requesting the military, the government, the plant whatever to put up signs to people know. He let us know that our info would be turned over to some anti-terrorism task force. You gotta be kidding me. I'm a Veteran damnit. The copper coughs up my I.D. back and bids us farewell.

All in all it could have been worse I guess. Its good to know that security is diligent around something as sensitive as a Nuclear Power Plant, however while Brenna and your Don were being harassed, Akmed, Scandar, Muhammad and Akbar were all casing the joint while the two Americans (one a veteran ;) ) were getting gaffled by one-time.

I have now been harassed looking at Airplanes on a beach in NYC near JFK and now driving near a Nuclear Power Plant. Looks like I better not wear my Timothy McVay mask for Halloween this year. At least not until all this blows over.